CJ (campciabatta) wrote,

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Academy Awards predictions and drunkeness

So, I have made my predictions for tomorrow's Academy Awards. Julia and I are mostly just watching it to see what kind of clothes the freaks are wearing, but we're making predictions anyway. I usually don't care who wins, and this year is no different.

The rules are: for every right prediction, you have to take a tequila shot. I had to choose between taking a shot for every right answer, or every wrong answer. I chose right answer, because I'm usually wrong. This might backfire. A lot.

I picked nominees from http://www.timeforaol.com/oscars/2006. Keep in mind that I haven't seen any of these movies, there are some I haven't even heard of, and I'm guessing my ass off with each and every one of them. I just don't wanna end up drunk during my seminar on Monday morning.

Anyway, my predictions are as follow:

Best Picture
Brokeback Mountain
Simply because I haven't even heard of the other nominees.

Best Actor
Philip Seymour Hoffman
It would be cool if he won. Although, I'm not really sure if I should want to be right or wrong anymore.

Best Actress
Felicity Huffman
Reese Witherspoon annoys me. I saw her on Oprah and she's annoying. I liked Felicity on Sports Night, so my vote's for her. Don't mock my votes.

Best Supporting Actor
Matt Dillon
Heh. Just guessing. I don't want it to be Jake Gyllenhaal, but I actually don't really care.

Best Supporting Actress
Frances McDormand
Still guessing. I hardly know who she is. As long as it's not Michelle Williams. I hate Dawson's Creek.

Best Director
George Clooney
Hey, why not? I liked him when he was on ER.

Best Adapted Screenplay
Jeffrey Caine, The Constant Gardener
Not sure I care about this category, so I just guessed. I hope I'm wrong. I don't want that many tequila shots.

Best Original Screenplay
George Clooney and Grant Heslov, Good Night, and Good Luck
I'm using the same explanation as for Best Director.

Best Animated Feature
Tim Burton's Corpse Bride
Seems like a safe bet (even if that's bad, drinking-wise). I kinda like the Were-Rabbit thing, though.

Best Art Direction
King Kong
This movie freaks me the fuck out, but it'll probably win something anyway.

Best Cinematography - hell knows what that is
Brokeback Mountain
Eh. Another guess. Kinda hope I'm wrong with a lot of these.

Best Costumes
Memoirs of a Geisha
Well, if there's a geisha, I'm sure the costumes must be awesome.

Best Documentary Feature
March of the Penguins
Hey, there are penguins, and they're marching. What can be wrong with that? I like penguins.

Best Documentary Short Subject
God Sleeps in Rwanda
I've never heard of any of the nominees, so I just picked one that sounded goodish.

Best Film Editing
Walk the Line
The movie is bound to win something, and I haven't picked it for anything yet.

Best Foreign Language Film
Joyeux Noël
Fine, I admit it. I just wanted to use the button with the two dots on it.

Best Make-Up
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Well, I don't think it'll be the other two. Maybe I should change this to something else...

Best Original Score
Alberto Iglesias, The Constant Gardener
I like the name of the movie. Oh, I'm such an expert at these things.

Best Original Song
"It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp," from Hustle & Flow
I've never heard of it, but how can you not vote for a song about a pimp?

Best Short Film (animated)
Short and simple. I have a lazy brain.

Best Short Film (live action)
Six Shooter
I like the name.

Best Sound Editing
King Kong
Stupid ape probably wins more than one award anyway.

Best Sound Mixing
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Eh. Here's another guess I'm making.

Best Visual Effects
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
I just hope it won't be that movie Tom Cruise is in. That would suck.

I've already said that if I have more than four right answers, I'll forfeit.

Will be updating this during the Oscars tomorrow. It starts at one in the morning, my time. That would be... like, seven or something for those that live on the New Yorkish side of the country of USA? I'm such a little genius today.

If you're interested to know how damn drunk I'll be tomorrow night/Monday morning, just check back and you'll know.

(I didn't have Internet access at first, and I was busy drinking shots and eating chocolate until 3:15 when I realized I could just type it up anyway, even if I couldn't post it at once. The pre-show started at 0:59. I was kind of tired and drunkish when I started writing this, so there are lots of weird typos and I may have re-named a few people.)

3:15 Righty-ro. Yawn. Best Supporting Actress.
Yay! Frances McD didn't win! I've already had too many shots. This is a mightily good thing.

Best Make-Up
Fuck Fuck Fuck! Dammit, Narnia, you're killing me...

3:18 I'm dizzy

3:20 Oh, pimp is up! This will be my favorite. Go pimpy!
Oh crap. No pimp yet.

3:21 Best Documentary Short
I lost again. I'm almost grateful for that because TEQUILA IS EVIL.

3:23 Charlize is no queen!
Penguin time! Pingu!

3:24 Fuck! It won!
Pingu is on stage!

3:26 Why is J.Lo on stage?
It's singy time again. I need a nap anyway.

3:28 It would be cool if her dress catches fire.

3:29 'Caught' fire?

3:31 I don't like Keira N. very much.

3:35 Best Art Direction
Sandra Bullock looks pretty.

3:37 Julia gets a shot. I do not. Ge-he-he-hreat. Cause the geisha won again. Wee!

3:38 I can't pronounce 'Samuel L. Jackson'.

3:41 I give up. Want no more tequila.

3:46 This guy never shuts up.

3:47 Oh, Salma Hayek.
Hey. I speak better English than she does! Well, when I'm sober, at least.

3.48 Best Original Score.
Well, this is hella boring.
Why am I writing *this* when I have an entire essay to write?

3:51 Brokebacky won. Julia is also forfeiting the tequila.

3:58 All the Gyllenhaals suck. That was sooo funny! Not.

4:00 Oh, they're playing the LOTR song. Julia is freaking out.

4:01 Dinosaurs!

4:02 Best Sound Mixing

4:03 Stupid monkey.

4:04 Wow, it won.

4:05 I would thank the hell out of my mom if I won. Cause she would never let it go if I didn't.

4:07 Lily Tomlin & Meryl Streep. I think I love these two.

4:12 Standing ovations! Yay!
I've never seen *any* of this guy's movie.

4:17 Just get him off the stage already. WTF sand castles?

4:24 It's hard out there for a pimp, apparently.

4:25 Best Original Song

4:26 Ha! It WON!!!

4:27 Waiting for the bad joke from Stewart...

4:28 And there it came. I laughed anyway. Was funny.

4:29 OMG, Jennifer Garner almost fell! I like her. She is also very pretty.

4:32 George Clooooney.

4:36 Aww, Mr. Miyagi.

4:41 Stupid foreign film.
Julia is always right! I hope she gets drunk.

4:43 I will never drink tequila again, ever.

4:44 Best Film Editing
Go Walk the Line, even though I don't care.

4:46 Hilary Swank is very thin.

4:47 Best Actor!
Heath Ledger isn't cute enough at all! Nobody is worthy!
Damn it all to hell!

4:49 Someone boring is going to win. Julia thinks Seymore.

4:50 Yay! He won! I almost care!
Aww. This is great. He seems kinda nervous.
Hey, why isn't he barking like a frigging dog? He proooomised!
I'm disappointed now. Nah. Not really.

4:54 Hans Wiklund is annoying. Shut up already.

4:55 Reese Witherspoon better not win. Julia wants her to. I don't care. Reese sucks. Boo.

4:57 Best Cinemagrophophnyny(?)
Yay! It wasn't Batman! Yay! I hate Katie Holmes.

4:58 Is John T. looking at her boobs?

4:59 Jamie Foxxy! Best Actress.

5:00 EEE. Can't wait.
Go Felicity! Boo, Keira. Get away. Boo, Reese. Boo.

5:02 Boo. Reese. Boo.

5:03 FUCK!!!

5:04 She is so annoying. Boo.
Get off the stage. I hope I hope she forgets to mention her stupid husband.

5:05 I need chocolate. I just realized I don't really care who wins. But boo for Reese anyway, because she's annoying.

5:11 Best Adapted Screenplay

5:12 *Why* did Reese win?

5:13 Another Brokebacky win. Eh.

5:15 Go George Clooney!
Best Original Screenplay

5:16 Oh, boo. I sucketh at the guessing. I am also sobering up.

5:17 It's hard out there for a pimp, baby!

5:21 Best Director
Oh, I am so surprised...

5:24 Best Movie
Jack Nicholson is weird.

5:25 Crash!! Yay!
No Brokeback! I knew it!

5:26 Okay, I'm through caring. I want sleep now.

5:27 8 right answers. Julia had 16.

5:28 Boo for Reese. I'll never ever watch any of her movies ever.

Fuck dammit. I have to get up in AN HOUR!!

Good night moon! (And good luck!)

I laughed at the above joke for like ten minutes.
Tags: drinking & partying: drunk as a skunk, friends & family: julia n, friends & family: mamma, online & blog: lists, tv & movies: academy awards, tv & movies: actors, tv & movies: actresses, tv & movies: dawson's creek, tv & movies: lord of the rings, tv & movies: sports night
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