CJ (campciabatta) wrote,

5 Reasons Why I Suck as a Blogger

So, there have been some ideas what I should do with this colossal blob of a blog, since I never seem to be able to update in a regular fashion.

There have been suggestions that I should turn it into a guinea-pig blog, giving weekly updates on the whereabouts of Rambo and Éowyn (yes, they are still alive albeit as bored as I am, probably). Someone wanted it to become a photo-only journal, but that’s only because they don’t understand how Instagram works (I assume).

And since I haven’t been writing anything of substance for at least a year, I should probably go back to basics and do just that. Things is: I’m slightly lazy, I have a mere resemblance of a real life, and I do pretty much the same thing every day.

So instead, I’m just going to start making random lists that have little or no relation to actual life. In between “all” my regular photo posts and “I’m not dead” updates, of course. What do you think I am, structured?

First up:
5 Awesome Excuses Reasons Why I Don’t Update Regularly

1. The most famous blogs are famous because they are interesting. Guess which secret formula my blog lacks? I’m single, I live in the ghetto and my two best friends are guinea-pigs. Sounds like a Disney princess just waiting to happen. Except this Disney princess sits in her apartment all day, currently on sick leave, eats the same food almost every day, wears the same fleece suit outfit, meets her wacky friends once a month at most - and the damn guinea-pigs don’t even talk. I can count on my fingers everything I did last year. Which is also why I only updated, like, twice.

2. There’s actually a real excuse, which is also the only valid excuse on this list: I can’t write about everything I do. I’m super special and important, and I do super secret stuff during working hours. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but it’s still more or less true. And as I already established, during my non-working hours I don’t exactly do anything worth mentioning. I also have a few things I’d rather not reveal in public, or because I know my mom would have a field day with it.

3. When I do sit down to write, it tends to get overly long and texty. Point in case: this post. I know I’m super witty and funny and all that, but I also know that normal people usually stop reading before they even start when they see a huge lump o’ scripture. Or just avoid posts where some idiot uses the word text as an adjective. Actually, this is pretty much how I am in real life, too. I don’t stop talking until I want to. And I really love the sound of my voice, or at least the words that are said. My voice is annoying, but there’s nothing I can do about that because I won’t shut up either way.
You see what I mean?!

4. The language barrier. Not all people understand English, I know that (you really should try to, though) and I definitely know that not even all my closest friends understand Swedish (you don’t have to, but it’s a cool trick to show off whenever you go on vacation). Pictures are good, because everyone gets the point, even without my smartass remarks, but for a perfectionist such as I, it takes forever to make a picture post. And for a lazy person it’s an effort just getting the pictures from the camera to a laptop. So, I can never really decide what I should do, post in English, post in Swedish or post random pictures of Rambo getting stuck in my pajama bottoms.
The problem with both: my mom, who relentlessly bugs me to update, doesn’t understand English well enough to understand how funny I am. Good for super secret posts, but those are mostly locked anyway. The other problem is that I can’t afford a new laptop, and the Ä button on this one is long lost. Which makes it annoying to update in Swedish whenever I have to type bär, häär, gärna, äckel, äättika or whatever, because I have to make an effort and that’s not really my deal. This brings me to the next and final reason:

5. Laziness.

Stay tuned for my next attempt at list-making/regular updating (I’m probably going to knock out a few on top of each other before I lose interest and/or motivation) such as:
5 Worst Jobs I’ve Ever Had
The 7 Wackiest Things Jennie Have Said
Top 5 Cartoons of My Childhood
The 4 Most Awesome Dinosaurs in Jurassic Park
7 Reasons Why Batman Is The Best Superhero

And so on and so forth. Numbers are pending.
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